HOW TO SPOT A LIAR AT WORK 

Here are some ways you can tell if one of your co-workers is LYING TO YOU at work . . .   

#1.)   NOSE TOUCHING.  There are certain tissues in the nose that actually fill up with blood when people lie . . . causing an itchy feeling.  Look to see if they touch their nose, but just make sure it isn’t because they have a cold or something. 

#2.)  TROUBLE SPEAKING.  When people trick themselves into pretending that a lie is actually true . . . their brain gets confused.  So when they lie, they take longer pauses and speak more slowly than normal.  They also use phrases like “um”, “er” and “ah”. 

#3.)  BODY LANGUAGE VS. WORDS.  People who lie sometimes give it away with their body language . . . like shaking their head “no” when they’re actually SAYING “yes”. 

#4.)  NECK RUBBING.  We rub our necks when we have stress over an obstacle that we think is too great to overcome.  If someone is lying their way out of a problem that they perceive to be of this magnitude, they might rub their neck as they tell their lie. 

#5.)  EYE RUBBING.  Eye rubs are ALSO an indicator of disbelief.  So if you’re talking to someone and they rub their eyes when they respond . . . it could mean they either disagree with you or don’t believe you. 

#6.)  UPWARD INFLECTIONS.  If someone is stating a fact to you with an upward inflection . . . that should be a red flag that they’re lying to you.

HOW TO EARN RESPECT (Men’s Health)

• Pick up the tab. What? Buy respect? Of course not — you earn it by showing it as you scoop up the bill. To your potential father-in-law: “Your daughter and I would like to treat you.” On business: “Jim, it’s the least I can do.”
• Try the sushi.
• Never blunt the bad news.
• Stay sober when no one would blame you for drinking.
• Nail the toast.
• Cook for 12.
• Become what you told people you always wanted to be.
• When some lemon- sucker asks, “Ugh, you actually like that book?” just reply — with unwavering eye contact — “Yes.”
• Say no when no’s the answer. “We’ll see,” “I’ll have to get back to you on that,” and “I’m not 100 percent sure” are smoke screens for the man who’s afraid to disappoint.
• Become multilingual. Could be Spanish. Could be the secret language of the internal combustion engine. Either way, it’s a life truth: A man with two tongues is a man in demand.
• Risk being hated for doing the right thing.
• Show patience with those who can’t do what you can.

APPROPRIATE CELL PHONE MANNERS (MSN.com)

• Be nice to the person behind the counter: Don’t talk on the phone while you’re ordering or paying for something. Doesn’t the person behind the lunch counter deserve just an ounce of respect? Hang up, or at least put your caller on hold.
• Take it outside: Take your phone outside, or at least away from the table, when you get a call in a restaurant. No one around you, much less your tablemates, cares to hear what you have to say. That is, unless you’re guiding someone to your table in a cavernous eatery. And if it’s really important, you could always text. But even that has a limit, as well.
• You’re welcome: Have you ever held the door for someone who’s been on the phone without them acknowledging your presence? Remember folks: Even though you’re on the phone you still exist in this world to other people.
• Drive to distraction: When you’re driving with a phone use a headset. And whatever you do, don’t text while driving. Yikes.
• Yes, they’re talking to you: No one pays $10 to hear your cell phone ring during a movie so turn it off. But if you absolutely have to keep your phone on, please turn it on vibrate. And please don’t start talking until after you’ve left the theater. It’s just being polite. The same goes for weddings, funerals, and other milestone events. Remember that when they ask you to turn off your phone, they’re talking to you.
• Work out your body, not your mouth: The gym is no place for a cell phone. Don’t talk when you’re doing cardio and don’t take up space on equipment so you can sit and catch up the latest dish. If you’re bored while you spin, read a magazine.
• Not in the bathroom: Don’t use your phone in a public restroom. That’s just gross.
• Remember the people around you: If you’re out with a group of friends, it’s fine to answer the phone for a few minutes. Just don’t make that conversation more important than the one you’re already having.
• Bluetooth geeks: Wearing a Bluetooth headset when you’re not talking on the phone just makes you look like a geek.

FIVE WAYS TO INSTANTLY FEEL GOOD (AskMen.com)

• Indulge in retail therapy: Retail therapy is an old tactic long associated with the female species; she’s been getting her gloom serviced by cash registers and sales racks for a long, long time. The basic idea is to buy yourself something unexpected in the hopes that it will raise your spirits.
• Phone an old friend: Catching up with an old buddy rarely fails to liberate us from the blues. It can be effective, whether you’ve been meaning to call this person for months and months but keep forgetting, or something recently reminded you of that dynamite old friendship. Now is the time not only to catch up with one another, but also rehash the good times, revel in the classic moments and retell stories you’ve told a hundred times before. When you hang up, odds are good not only will you feel cheered up, but it will do good things for your buddy too.
• Surf funny videos: You’ve got iFilm, YouTube, Yahoo, and plenty more resources to choose from where a world of morons and their moronic actions await. You can also relive some classic cinema moments from some of the funniest films ever made, such as Fast Times at Ridgemont High and American Pie.
• Play with a pet: Dogs, cats and other pets don’t know the complexities of life like we do. Their lives are simpler, they’re always ready for a good time, and they never fail to appreciate our time and attention. They have no opinion on what’s bugging you and they take no sides; they’re simply interested in hanging out with you.
• Listen to feel-good music: When it comes to music, we all have our own personal favorites — music we listen to with chronic devotion and make a part of our daily lives. It is not, however, the same music we turn to for an instant feel-good infusion — nor should it be. While music from bands like the Beach Boys come to mind, along with The Offspring, Blink 182 and even early Beatles albums, in general feel-good music is best served by bands who don’t take themselves too seriously.

I’m was kind of perturbed to find out recently that, for the last few months, and mail sent to me (and anyone else) through the “contact us” page on the X92.9 website has not arrived. It’s disappeared into the ether of cyberspace. If you sent mail, you likely never found out it never arrived. If you sent mail to me, you probably think I’m a big jerk for not replying to you. I try and respond to all my e-mail. The problem is still not fixed, so meantime, here are some ways to get in touch. you can e-mail me directly: josh@x929.ca

Josh Holliday on Facebook

Josh Holliday on MySpace

Or call me when I’m on air 2-7 weeday afternoons at (403!) 238-X929.

More words from Urban Dictionary:

• Austined: When you get a vehicle stuck in such a way that you cannot back or drive it out. A reference to the movie Austin Powers where he wedges a factory cart between two walls trying to turn it around
• Fasho: Is a short way to say “For Sure”
• Intermet: A way to say that you met on the Internet.
• Shwink: To sneak up on someone or startle them.
• Moppled: The stage of drunkenness just before you get hammered but while you are still able to hold a reasonable conversation and stand up at the same time.
• Wum: Not understanding something (what you mean?)
• Deised: Buff, muscular, ripped, etc.

EVERYDAY URGES YOU SHOULD SUPPRESS (Men’s Health)

• Buying all the equipment after two lessons: Holster that credit card until you’re certain the novelty of fly-fishing, snowboarding, or competitive bird-watching won’t wear off.
• Being overpolite: Social pleasantries should be dispensed with grace. Saying “bless you” after each of nine successive sneezes makes you an automaton, not a gentleman.
• Writing a love poem in the first 3 weeks of dating… and not keeping it to yourself: Her hair might indeed remind you of the first new morning rays of sun. But those rays may fade, and there’s no reason to leave a paper trail.
• Finding exact change: Picking through your pocket lint for 11 cents isn’t helping the barista churn through the morning rush any faster. Do everyone a favor and stockpile your coinage at home. Trade it for cash once a year, then treat your girl to a dinner you otherwise couldn’t afford.
• Marking an e-mail “high priority”: Just because Bill Gates dreamed up a button doesn’t mean you should press it. Pick up the phone.
• Yelling out a song request: Sorry, but the lead singer is only paying attention to the braless blonde in the front row. Channel all that energy into clapping, Casey Kasem.
• Talking between bathroom stalls: No matter is so pressing that it needs to be discussed with your pants down.
• Screaming at the customer-service rep: Actually, check that: Go ahead and scream. Just make sure there’s a method to your madness. You’re mad at the company, and you’re this close to taking your business elsewhere.
• Overpronouncing foreign words: Granted, you spent a magical week in Baja, but that doesn’t give you license to pronounce “ Guadalajara” like you’re clearing hair from your throat. There’s a middle ground between butchering a word and being the pompous protector of its linguistic sanctity. Find it. (We’re talking to you, Giada De Laurentiis.)
• Sending an angry e-mail: Along with drunk-dialing your ex and drinking appletinis, this one fits in the category of things you will always, without fail, regret. Here’s a rule of thumb: The more bridges you’ll burn, the longer you should let that e-mail smolder in your drafts folder.
• Performing the chest bump: Sporting celebration should be proportional to the peril faced in the pursuit of victory. If your game involves an underhand toss, midgame brews, or Velcro-backed flags, dial it down, champ.
• Oversanitizing: Washing your hands carefully after going to the bathroom: normal. Reaching for the bottle of Purell each time you exit a taxi: compulsive.
• Obsessing over your fantasy team: If you’re really that into a sport, play coach in a way that actually matters: Teach a kid to love the nuances of the game as much as you do.

THINGS A MAN SHOULD NEVER DO AFTER 30 (Esquire)

• Coin his own nickname.
• Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
• Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
• Hacky sack.
• Name his “unit” his name plus junior.
• Hang art with tape.
• Ask a policeman, “You ever shoot anybody with that thing?”
• Ask a woman, “Hey, you got a license for that ass?”
• Take a camera to a nude beach.
• Let his father do his taxes.
• Tap on the glass.
• Shout out a response to “Are you ready to rock?”
• Use the word “collated” on his resume.
• Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.
• Name pets after Middle Earth characters.
• Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
• Hug amusement-park characters.
• Wear Disney-themed neckties.
• Choose 69 as his jersey number.
• Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
• Propose via stadium Jumbotron.
• Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.
• Call “shotgun” before getting in a car.
• Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write “Wish you were here” on it.
• Keg stands.
• Put less than ten dollars’ worth of gas in the tank.

This afternoon between 4-5 we’re going to have a sexual health advocate come on the show and let us pick her brain. If you need some advice, feel free to leave your questions here. It’s anonymous, if you choose.

Best advice I can give is “don’t dip your pen in the company ink” or more bluntly, “don’t sh!t where you eat!” If you have to have a workplace thing, here are some Dos and Don’ts from CareerRamblings.com: