Greg (X92.9 evening/weekend guy) and I often get pitas from our pal Cregg at the 17th Ave. Pita Pit. Sometimes I’ll head over there to get Greg’s pita, and I take his order. What is his usual Pita Pit order? Triple-chicken and honey mustard. Period. No veggies at all. Seems kinda strange, but as usual he has some twisted logic to explain:

Greg’s Pita

St. Louis’ Ludo are out on the Warped Tour, which comes through Calgary on Wednesday. Keyboardist Tim Convy gave me a call on the phone, and this is what it sounded like:

Ludo Chat

Greg (X92.9 evening/weekend guy) was headed out to do a live-on-location broadcast at Chili’s. It turns out Greg has an aversion to chili and stew (among many, many other foods except for Diet Cola, chicken breasts and dry cereal). He explains his disdain here:

Greg disses chili

Cheryl Wallach from The Calgary Humane Society dropped by today, for her final visit on behalf of CHS. She’s been with them for over 16 years, but decided she’d like to pursue documentary-making. We wish Cheryl well with her future plans! She was accompanied by a sweet dog on her visit. Chesney is a 2 year old mix, weighing in at 20-25 lbs. She’s very attentive, and affectionate. She’ll need a little help interacting with other dogs. You can see her and all sorts of other great pets at CalgaryHumane.ca

Calgary has a Panhandler epidemic. And it’s getting worse, because people are giving money to these people. DON’T GIVE MONEY TO PANHANDLERS! By doing so you become part of the problem, not the solution. Listen:

Stop Panhandling

Is it really neccesary to shower more than once in an 8-hour period, if all you’ve done is sit behind a desk and talked occasionally. Especially if, like Greg, you claim to never sweat, even when strenuously excercising? Well, Greg thought he needed a shower before the movie, the second shower in 8 hours. Listen:

Greg wants a shower

Greg and I often hang out and go to grab food at restaurants. Trying to find a restaurant that meets with Greg’s strict, but crazy, needs is a giant pain. We recently went to a restaurant in an old house, with a really nice diverse menu. I found it delicious! Whitebread (Greg) didn’t enjoy it nearly as much. Listen:

Greg and Restaurants

I enjoy almonds, and other foods that contain “good” fat. Fat your body needs to be healthy. Greg, who is really thin - almost fat-free - believes there’s no such thing as good fat. Listen:

Good Fat Audio

So I recently met this youngish girl. In that transitional phase between high school and university. Pretty girl. She likes to shop, and likes the nicer stuff. Here’s the problem. When you’re at that stage in life, your income doesn’t match your expensive tastes. What to do? Well, look forward to a time when you’ll have an income that matches your tastes. Perservere. Improvise. Find your own style that doesn’t cost a ton. Realize that labels are kinda useless. Or…become a prostitute. Sort of. Find a guy a little bit older, with some money, who will buy you all the nice things you want, and let you live the lifestyle you want in exchange for being his “girlfriend.” Money (gifts, nice things) for sex (girlfriend thing) = prostitution.

Calgary is a wealthy city, and this isn’t an isolated incident. It’s not just women who are to blame. You see these guys cruising 17th in their fancy cars (Lambos, Porsches, Escalades, H2s) with bad dance music blaring, oversize sunglasses on. All the money in a world can’t buy a personality. Lots of wealthy guys are bankrupt when it comes to intellect or personality. But there are plenty of women who eat this shit up. Instead of asking what you’re reading, they ask what you’re driving. Instead of asking what you think about, they ask what you make (about.)

This is not to say that there aren’t wealthy guys who aren’t douchebags. In my circle of friends, there are some people that make a really good living. But none of us flaunt it, or use it to get ahead socially. It’s secondary to personality and being human.

Is it just me?

Click for the audio

You could say that Jer Wayne Junior and Turleen are Barbie’s embarrassing cousins. Turleen comes barefoot and pregnant with her hair in curlersand a cigarette in her mouth. Squeeze her belly and she’ll tell you “Pour me a double. I’m drinking fer two” and “Bubba Jr. get off yer sister!” Jer Wayne Junior sports all the redneck essentials like a mullet, missing teeth, NASCAR tattoo, cigarette, dirty tanktop and a beer in hand. Press his chest and he’ll fart and whisper sweet nothings like “Fifteen of them beers and yer still ugly” and “Honest, I’m not lying through my tooth.” The dolls sell for $33 and come in a patriotic red, white and blue window display box.