What happens when you can’t say no? This:

Yes Telemarketer

Mike came by the show for a vist today. He’s performing tonight (Thursday) through Saturday at The Laugh Shop (formerly Yuk-Yuks.)

 

Sheena’s a really lovely lady. She’s really people-friendly and playful, though will need a little work on interacting with other dogs, and lots of exercise. You can check her out at The Calgary Humane Society.

Another one of the “Free Vacation” telemarketing calls. This time alcohol was involved:

Wasted Telemarking

My birthday’s in August. I want this:

The greatest bed in the history of mankind has been unveiled at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.  It’s called Starry Night, it costs $50,000, and we’ve GOT to share it with you . . .       . . . The bed has two adjustable mattresses side-by-side that you can control like those CraftMatic adjustable beds that make the old people so happy in infomercials.      . . . Each mattress has CLIMATE CONTROL . . . you can heat it, cool it, pre-heat it, pre-cool it . . . and the person sleeping next to you can set their side to a totally different temperature. 

     . . . It STOPS you from SNORING.  The bed has military-grade vibration detection technology, so when it senses you snoring, it automatically adjusts the mattress to move you forward by seven degrees to clear your nasal passages and stop your snoring.      . . . It has a built-in PROJECTION HDTV that can project up to 10 feet across on the facing wall. 

     . . . And it has a built-in iPod dock, internet connection, surround sound speakers and on-board computer.  The internal memory can hold 400,000 songs or 2,000 hours of video. –The bed is scheduled to go on sale here sometime in the middle of the year.  The price for all of those features is $50,000 . . . but with fewer options, you can get one for as low as $20,000.  The manufacturer is Leggett & Platt . . . they’re not taking preorders yet. 

Cheryl from The Calgary Humane Society came in on Thursday and brought along Miles, a Keeshond/Alaskan Malamute Cross. Despite his age - about 6 years old - Miles has a really gregarious puppy-like attitude. He has a pretty thick coat so a regular brushing is in order. He likes the outdoors, and definitely doesn’t mind Calgary winters. You can check him and all sorts of other great pets out at Calgaryhumane.ca or visit the shelter.

Well, Newsboy had a story about older couples considering ways to liven up their sex lives, so I thought I’d call up someone in that demographic and find out the truth. My Mom:

 Mom Threesome

They call, we chat…about panties…

What are you wearing?

Happy New Year! My biggest fan checks in after what sounds like a pretty interesting New Years celebration:

Jan 2 Stalker

You’ve seen them puttering along in the passing lane (if you don’t know what the passing lane is, it’s the left lane, but that’s a whole other post) talking on their cellphones while cars line up behind them waiting for them to move. Cell phone drivers seem to slow things down, but here’s actual proof:

All those drivers you see chatting on cell phones are slowing down traffic, even if they’re using hands-free devices, according to a new study from University of Utah psychology professor David Strayer. The research, based on simulator driving, found that motorists on cell phones go about two miles per hour slower on clogged roads and don’t keep up with the flow of traffic. They are far more likely to stay behind a slow car and they change lanes about 20 percent less often. Overall, cell phone drivers took about three percent longer to travel the same highly-congested road and about two percent longer on a medium-congested road. Strayer said that, with about one in 10 drivers on the phone, that can really add up.