Cell Phone Rules

Douche, Edumacation 5 Comments »


  • Be nice to the person behind the counter: Don’t talk on the phone while you’re ordering or paying for something. Doesn’t the person behind the lunch counter deserve just an ounce of respect? Hang up, or at least put your caller on hold.
  • Take it outside: Take your phone outside, or at least away from the table, when you get a call in a restaurant. No one around you, much less your tablemates, cares to hear what you have to say. That is, unless you’re guiding someone to your table in a cavernous eatery. And if it’s really important, you could always text. But even that has a limit, as well.
  • You’re welcome: Have you ever held the door for someone who’s been on the phone without them acknowledging your presence? Remember folks: Even though you’re on the phone you still exist in this world to other people.
  • Drive to distraction: When you’re driving with a phone use a headset. And whatever you do, don’t text while driving. Yikes.
  • Yes, they’re talking to you: No one pays $10 to hear your cell phone ring during a movie so turn it off. But if you absolutely have to keep your phone on, please turn it on vibrate. And please don’t start talking until after you’ve left the theater. It’s just being polite. The same goes for weddings, funerals, and other milestone events. Remember that when they ask you to turn off your phone, they’re talking to you.
  • Work out your body, not your mouth: The gym is no place for a cell phone. Don’t talk when you’re doing cardio and don’t take up space on equipment so you can sit and catch up the latest dish. If you’re bored while you spin, read a magazine.
  • Not in the bathroom: Don’t use your phone in a public restroom. That’s just gross.
  • Remember the people around you: If you’re out with a group of friends, it’s fine to answer the phone for a few minutes. Just don’t make that conversation more important than the one you’re already having.
  • Bluetooth geeks: Wearing a Bluetooth headset when you’re not talking on the phone just makes you look like a geek.


Music, Poll 3 Comments »

Vanity Fair is doing a big issue on their Top 50 soundtracks of all time. The issue will be out next month, with a TV sepcial to follow in December. So far they’ve just released their Top 10, which I think is sorta stinky:

#1.)  (The soundtrack from) “Purple Rain”  (–By PRINCE.) 

#2.)  (The soundtrack from) “A Hard Day’s Night”  (–By THE BEATLES.) 

#3.)  (The soundtrack from) “The Harder They Come”. . . (–reggae music.) 

#4.)  (The soundtrack from) “Pulp Fiction”. . . (–’70s soul music.) 

#5.)  (The soundtrack from) “The Graduate”  (–By SIMON AND GARFUNKEL.) 

#6.)  (The soundtrack from) “Superfly”  (–By CURTIS MAYFIELD.) 

#7.)  (The soundtrack from) “Trainspotting”. . . (–British rock music.) 

#8.)  (The soundtrack from) “Saturday Night Fever”  (–Includes THE BEE GEES.) 

#9.)  (The soundtrack from) “American Graffiti”. . . (–Rock and oldies.)  #10.)  (The soundtrack from) “The Big Chill”. . . (–R&B and soul.)

Lynch has proclaimed Singles the best soundtrack in movie history. I disagree. Right off the top of my head, I’d say Garden State is a stronger soundtrack. Singles might be the best of the 90s, but that’s it. What do you think? Best soundtrack - not including movie musicals or concert films? Sound off!

What’s Eddie Vedder Sayin’

Cool, Funny, Video 1 Comment »

Sometimes Eddie isn’t the best enunciator. The song on which this is most confusing is Yellow Ledbetter. Thankfully someone’s cracked the code, and shared it with us via YouTube goodness.

Hot Models Update

Cool, My Life 3 Comments »

OK…you can accuse Newsboy and I of being fruitcakes, but I don’t see anything wrong with combining a desire to watch hot young models cavort and cat-fight and high stakes gambling. Hence, newsboy and I have a America’s Next Top Model pool. A few weeks back, we made our own personal Top 12 lists, flipped a coin for first pick, then had our draft. I won the toss, and here are our picks in order:

#1 Victoria (Josh)bianca.jpgvictoria.jpg

#2 Bianca (Newsboy)

#3 Heather (Josh)

#4 Jenah (Newsboy)

#5 Kimberly (Josh)

#6 Ebony (Newsboy)

#7 Sarah (Josh)

#8 Saleisha (Newsboy)

#9 Janet (Josh)

#10 Chantal (Newsboy)

#11 Ambreal (Josh)

#12 Lisa (Newsboy)

Each week the winner buys the other coffee, although it’s winner takes all!

(#1 and #2 pictured)

Optimus Prime calling

Audio, Cool, Funny, Strange 3 Comments »

Lynch's Alter EgoOK, technically this should be on Lynch’s blog and not mine, as Lynch is obsessed with Transformers. He wants to be a Transformer, or failing that, make love to a Transformer, or failing that, make love to his lotiony hand while wearing Transformer PJs. But Lynch is a lazy, lazy blogger, so this one’s for him. Maybe he’s not lazy enough to link to this post from his blog. We’ll see.

I must thank listener Leanne Harrison for sending this my way. We had some fun with it today. There’s a website where you can get Optimus Prime to call or e-mail a friend or enemy of yours. Unfortunately at the end of the message Optimus Prime starts shilling DVDs. Also, if you have an unusual name, you might be out of luck. There’s no Lynch and the closest to Josh I could get was Joshua.

Optimus Prime Calls Lynch (audio)

Get OP to call someone

“Biggest Fan” costume ideas

Audio, Phonecall, Stalker, Strange 1 Comment »

coco-bra.jpgOn Monday, my biggest fan (can’t use the “S” word anymore - too dangerous) called in and discussed some Halloween pranks she likes to play, and wanted me to help her pick a costume. The choices were tough. The image of Gene Wilder wearing a coconut bra is somewhat disconcerting. Listen:

Biggest Fan October 22

Stalker, errr “Biggest Fan” Reads the Blog

Audio, Phonecall, Stalker, Strange 5 Comments »

genewilder.jpgWell, apparently she knows about the poll ( over there –>) and doesn’t like the term stalker. When she called Friday, this is what my “biggest fan”she had to say

Stalker October 19th

Boo the dog

Pets 1 Comment »

Cheryl from The Calgary Humane Society came by today with a sweet 7-year old girl named Boo. Boo is a really friendly and active girl up for adoption at the Humane Society. Here’s a pic:


Stalker October 17th

Phonecall, Stalker, Strange 1 Comment »

genewilder.jpgMy biggest fan called again. Apparently her relationship with the bottle collector didn’t last very long. She still hasn’t told us her name.

Stalker October 17th

Cheer up mate

Edumacation, My Life No Comments »


  • Indulge in retail therapy: Retail therapy is an old tactic long associated with the female species; she’s been getting her gloom serviced by cash registers and sales racks for a long, long time. The basic idea is to buy yourself something unexpected in the hopes that it will raise your spirits.
  • Phone an old friend: Catching up with an old buddy rarely fails to liberate us from the blues. It can be effective, whether you’ve been meaning to call this person for months and months but keep forgetting, or something recently reminded you of that dynamite old friendship. Now is the time not only to catch up with one another, but also rehash the good times, revel in the classic moments and retell stories you’ve told a hundred times before. When you hang up, odds are good not only will you feel cheered up, but it will do good things for your buddy too.
  • Surf funny videos: You’ve got iFilm, YouTube, Yahoo, and plenty more resources to choose from where a world of morons and their moronic actions await. You can also relive some classic cinema moments from some of the funniest films ever made, such as Fast Times at Ridgemont High and American Pie.
  • Play with a pet: Dogs, cats and other pets don’t know the complexities of life like we do. Their lives are simpler, they’re always ready for a good time, and they never fail to appreciate our time and attention. They have no opinion on what’s bugging you and they take no sides; they’re simply interested in hanging out with you.
  • Listen to feel-good music: When it comes to music, we all have our own personal favorites — music we listen to with chronic devotion and make a part of our daily lives. It is not, however, the same music we turn to for an instant feel-good infusion — nor should it be. While music from bands like the Beach Boys come to mind, along with The Offspring, Blink 182 and even early Beatles albums, in general feel-good music is best served by bands who don’t take themselves too seriously.emukid.jpg

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