Not a fan of Kanye, but I’m definitely a fan of alternative comic Zach Galifianakas, who stars as the bearded farmer in this video. That’s his real beard. Check it out:

I’d heard about services like this in the past, but usually in other cities. Well, now there’s a local number you can use at your discretion. I’m guessing it’s mostly ladies who have to deal with persistent guys.

I’m not sure I’m totally agree with using it as the first option. It’s more if the guy is super-persistent or a giant douchebag. In fact, if it’s a giant douchebag, it would be fun to use it right off the bat. For examples of douchebags check out Hot Chicks With Douchebags. Meantime, here’s the recording one hears when dialing 775-9982:

rejection-hotline.mp3

BODY BLUNDERS THAT WOMEN FIND MOST OFFENSIVE (AskMen.com)

• Man boobs: This is the area she most looks at when she sees you naked. It is also probably one of her favorite places to rest her head, nibble nipples and caress lovingly. A man’s chest is a treasured place for women, so having a posh pair of man boobs covered in carpet is not a turn-on — especially if your boobs are bigger than hers.
• Underdeveloped shoulders/arms: If you’re a bit puny or saggy, it can impact how manly you appear. If your shoulders and arms are lacking in definition or shape, she may look at you and wish you looked a bit stronger — a bit more like you could save her if armed bandits came to kidnap her.
• Hairy back: Beautiful, smooth backs are definite lady-pleasers — a nice back will get you places a sparkling personality and a full head of hair won’t. To all you men out there who have hairy backs, it’s not your fault that you have hairy genes, but truth be told, you would probably be getting more attention without the hair.
• Beer belly: Your stomach is basically the whole front of you, and this is what she predominantly sees when she looks at you. If you have a pot belly, get rid of it. Nobody likes a saggy, protruding stomach, and since this is where men tend to put on weight first (especially if you enjoy beer regularly), it is the main source of the excess weight. You don’t need abs of steel, but you do need to be tucked in.
• Gross teeth: Bad teeth will lose you more sex than you’ll ever know. Our smiles are our gifts to the world, and how we show pleasure. If your way of showing pleasure is to bare your stained, broken/missing/buck fangs to the world, perhaps you’re in need of some dental work. Bad teeth look like they smell, and you don’t want to kiss something that looks like it smells.

I don’t know why this makes me laugh, but it does. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it. I don’t really make a habit of watching Jerry Springer, but I came across this clip through the magic of YouTube. I’ve seen fights on Springer before, and the security guys are very quick to step in and seperate the combatants. This time around, they seem to let off and let the little guys go loco. Discrimination? You be the judge:

Haven’t heard from my biggest fan in almost two weeks. I’m off on vacation tomorrow, so here’s the final two calls we played this week:

Depressed Stalker Call

Thank God It’s Monday Stalker Call

Bit of a backstory for this one. I was at Beerfest on the Friday before this call. Earlier on this Monday show, I mentioned that some Paris Hilton looking girl had come into the RV. I had finished my show and spent some time in the beer area, so I was a little tipsy. This girl was with a few friends and she sat right beside me. She took out her cell phone and said that she’s gonna videotape this. She then pointed the camera toward her and I, and I jokingly said, it would be funnier if we were making out…and then it happened. We made out. I then gave her some tips on how to be a better kisser. Mostly slow it down. In any case, my “superfan” heard me talking about this on the air and called in:

Beerfest Stalker Call

Last time we spoke to her, she was sunbathing. Topless. In her front yard. On a busy street. A few days later, we get this call, The 7th:

Sunburned Stalker Call

The sixth call finds my biggest fan enjoying the sunny weather:

Topless Stalker Call

Here is the fifth call from my biggest fan:

Stalker Mother Call 

Here is the fourth call that came into the station:

Stalker Kids Call