Best advice I can give is “don’t dip your pen in the company ink” or more bluntly, “don’t sh!t where you eat!” If you have to have a workplace thing, here are some Dos and Don’ts from CareerRamblings.com:

I’m in Toronto this week on vacation. Watching the news with my parents, a familiar face (with more hair and more chubby) came on the screen. It was a commercial I shot for Best Buy almost a year ago that’s run a few periods since. In the commercial, two guys pull into opposite parking spots and have a quick staredown. Then, it’s on! A race for the front doors with all sorts of obstacles. I’m sort of the yuppie guy with glasses and hot wife, racing a red-headed slacker guy. They actually had stunt doubles for both of us (see pic. I’m on the right.)I usually find out it’s back on again by e-mails and calls with stuff like “are you in a Best Buy commercial?” or the people who are sick of it already, “your commercial’s on again.”

First my boss bought a Wii ”for his kids.” Lynch played it once, and had to have his own. Well, thankfully for Lynch, he doesn’t have to fret missing True Fitness workouts, as he can get the benefits at home!

Football season is here. Sometimes you get lucky and the woman in your life has a grasp on the basics of sports (especially hockey!) Men’s Fitness offers these tips for ’splainin’ football to a  novice in her terms:

• Ineligible receiver: Explain the idea of a player on the offensive team who is not allowed to catch a pass by likening it to her hot-yet-married male co-worker, grad-school history professor, gay male hairstylist, or anyone else who cannot accept her passes.
• Pump fake: Compare this QB ploy to the way women give out fake phone numbers at a bar. The point is to trick the opposing team — or persistent drunk guy — into thinking the object of their desire is actually within reach.
• Hail Mary: This is a desperate, last-ditch effort to score — so characterize it as last call, when clueless (read: horny) patrons lob lame pickup lines toward anyone left unhitched in a final, pathetic effort to, well, score. Tell her that, like the closing-time tactic, it’s rare that this football play actually works.
• Huddle: Explain that this is identical to female group trips to the restroom. Once there, women decide on the “play” for that evening, whether it’s calling dibs on the guys they find attractive or concocting a plan to ditch their dates.

Quite a bit of controversy about this Bush picture by British artist Jonathan Yeo. What’s all the fuss about? Click on the pic for a bigger version. 

Most of this is common sense, but I think it’s wise to assume any e-mail you write/receive could be read by the company.

SEVEN WORK E-MAIL RULES TO LIVE BY (Reader’s Digest)

HOW TO CURE END-OF-SUMMER BLUES (MSNBC)

TOP TEN TURNOFFs FOR WOMEN: (Yahoo!)

• Showing off: Maybe he owns a yacht off the coast of France. Maybe he has a timeshare in the
  Hamptons. Maybe his annual bonus is bigger than most guys’ salaries. That’s all well and good, but does it really need to be divulged on the first date?
• Messy: A-list celebrities can pull off the unkempt look. First-daters need to pay attention to shaving, clothing and bad breath. If the guy can’t even put in the effort for a first impression, it doesn’t bode well down the road.
• Being rude: “Where’s our drinks, lady?” If a guy treats the service staff with a lack of respect, a great gal will likely assume he’ll do the same to her someday. The last thing anyone wants is to be talked down to or disrespected.
• He’s cheap: There will always be debate about who should pay on a first date. Some guys are traditionalists and want to foot the bill; others expect a 50-50 monetary split. In most cases, offering to pay is the way to go. Let her pick up the tab on a future date.
• Still-married: Marriage, separation and divorce are pretty cut-and-dry terms. If a guy says he’s separated when he really means he’s cheating on his wife, it’s going to cause trouble. Be honest from the get-go and let the dating chips fall where they may.
• Touchy-feely: Guys need to read the signals before assuming hand holding, massaging and other touchy-feely activities have the green light. Jumping too quickly to any form of intimacy can make any guy seem too aggressive.
• Stereotyping: “Oh, you’re one of those types of women.” Jumping to conclusions about a date from the way she answers one or two questions is a definite mistake. Let the date unfold before making assumptions about someone you just met.
• Distracted: His cell phone is ringing constantly, he’s popping away from the table every 10 minutes, and he keeps interrupting the conversation flow. First dates require focused attention — that means putting the phone on vibrate, making eye contact and being present.
• All-Business: Some guys are great salesmen or outstanding negotiators. But there’s a time and place for business and a time and place for leisure. Guys who treat first dates like business transactions will never close the deal.
• Nervous: He can’t sit still, he’s banging his fork on the table, and he won’t make eye contact for more than three seconds. Nervous antics are a real turnoff and make a great gal think a guy has something to hide. Work out the nervous kinks before the date starts.

THINGS A MAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT DRINKING (Esquire)

• There is no such thing as a chocolate martini.
• There is no shame in club soda and cranberry juice.
• Visiting the pub will be cheaper in the long run if you tip the bartender regularly and more generously than is necessary.
• Never order a frozen drink in a place that serves pickled eggs. Actually, never order a frozen drink.
• When throwing a party, break the seals on all liquor bottles, lest guests should hesitate to open them and come to doubt your hospitality.
• Adopt a new favorite cocktail on a seasonal basis.
• Drinks that give you bad breath: beer, anything sweet, anything with milk.
• Drinks that give you good breath: gin and tonic, gimlet, vodka and cranberry, anything with citrus.
• Decent wine costs 15 dollars. Good wine costs 35 dollars. Nobody can tell the difference.
• Sitting at the bar works only for two people. Three or more requires a table.
• Never utter the words I and love and you if you’ve had more than three drinks.
• If a bartender makes you flail your arms or beg for service, well, obviously, leave.
• Instead of trying to remember whether it’s “beer before liquor” or the other way around, just be an adult and stick to one or the other.
• Acceptable drinks for men: beer, wine, whiskey, cocktails that are neither sweet nor made with dairy or fruit other than lime or lemon or orange.
• Never question a woman’s drink choice.
• If you’re the first in the group to arrive and you start a tab on your card, you deserve exactly what’s coming to you.

ummmm…wow. Just wow: