HOW TO GO GREEN IN BED (Redbook)

• The Right Rubs: Opt for all-natural, paraben-free lubricants (parabens, used as preservatives, may disrupt hormone activity). And use organic massage oils, such as Earth Botanicals (northernnaturals.com, $11 for 8 oz), which is made of sunflower, apricot, and jojoba oils and contains no artificial fragrances or additives.
• Toss Toxic Toys: Many soft plastic sex toys are made from PVC (polyvinyl chloride) and softened with chemicals called phthalates. The problem: PVC’s manufacture is toxic to the environment, and there’s some evidence that exposure to phthalates can increase the risks of birth defects and cancer. Play it safe with toys made of silicone, glass, or metal instead.
• Bright Idea: Keep the lights off while you make love and focus fully on the sexy sensations of touch and sound. If you still want to see your sweetie, switch out your lightbulb for an Energy Star-qualified one (you’ll save cash, too!).
• Condom Sense: Roll out the lambskin condoms — the only kind proven to be biodegradable. (But stick with latex if you’re concerned about STD prevention, as lambskin condoms are only effective for birth control.)
• Mattress Matters: Get busy on sheets made from organic cotton (grown without pesticides or synthetic fertilizers), or pick bedding made from bamboo fiber, a rapidly renewable resource.
• Carbon Dating: Searching for Mr. Right? Check out greensingles.com to meet fellow tree huggers and help the planet while you look for love: Part of the site’s profits go to nonprofit environmental organizations.
• Good Vibrations: Using something that requires batteries? Replace it with something rechargable that doesnt use batteries at all.
• Human Friction: What’s hotter than body heat? Lower your home thermostat this winter and warm things up between the sheets instead.
• Green Under There: Get greener undies and still stay sexy. Slip into Lenpur lingerie — its surprisingly soft fabric is made from pine clippings.

I’ve always been a reader, since I was two my parents tell me. Recently I suggested a book to Greg - X92.9 evening/weekend guy - and he said he doesn’t read. This baffled me, because he seems like a pretty bright guy. Lynch will tell you proudly that he’s only read two books in his lifetime, but it doesn’t seem hugely surprising. Whitebread’s (Whitebread=Greg) revelation was surprising. I asked him why, and here’s the audio:

Greg doesn’t like books

It’s been awhile since I talked about the phenomenon of Hot Chicks With Douchebags, and the site chronicling this atrocity. The warm weather is here, and the douche and the chicks that are hypnotized by their douchiness. If you see any Calgary examples of HCWDB send ‘em to josh@x929.ca or send them to the official website Hot Chicks With Douchebags. Last year we did an interview with the creator of the website, and you can find that here.

Got a call from a telemarketer. This time I thought it would be fun to be a lonely German man. Yes my accent is pretty bad, but I still think it’s a fun call. Here it is:

Telemarketing and a Lonley German Man Audio

I think the romantic comedy catchphrase from Jerry Maguire has it all wrong. If you’re looking for someone to complete you you’ll never be happy. You’re better off trying to make yourself a complete person, then looking for someone who compliments you. I don’t mean vocally, but as a compliment to your life and lifestyle. Greg is weird, which we know. He’s also after someone who completes him. Bzzzt. Bad.  What do you think?

I’ve put a poll at the right —>

Cheryl from The Calgary Humane Society came by with a really cool looking snake. He’s surprisingly friendly and pretty easily handled. He’s an Albino Honduran Milksnake, about 9 months old. He is a constrictor by nature. His diet at this point is tiny little mice called “pinkies.”

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT CONDOMS (AskMen.com)

• Condoms have appeared in cave paintings: In Johnny Come Lately: A Short History of the Condom, author Jeannette Parisot claims the appearance of condoms in cave paintings are estimated to be 15,000 years old.
• Condoms used to be available only by prescription: In the U.S., there was a time that condoms were available only by prescription, but doctors held up a double standard — they would prescribe them to men so that husbands could protect themselves against getting STDs from prostitutes, but they wouldn’t prescribe them to women so they could prevent themselves from getting pregnant or for any other reason.
• The oldest condoms date back to 1640: Discovered during excavations of Dudley Castle in West Midlands,
  England, these condom fragments were made from the guts of animals and it is believed they were distributed to slow the spread of STDs during the English Civil Wars. If that is the case, they would have been used by Royalists loyal to King Charles I, since the castle didn’t fall to Oliver Cromwell until 1646.
• Condoms have been sold in vending machines since 1928: The condom available in vending machines celebrates its 80th anniversary in 2008, courtesy of the company who manufactured the first brand-name condom, Germany-based, Fromm’s. Their product, Fromm’s Act, not only appeared in vending machines first, they also had a presumably unauthorized Mickey Mouse as their pitch-man.
• Invisible condoms may be next: For all those folks forced to use leather, silk, velvet or rubber as thick as an inner tube, the invisible condom could only be a pipe dream. In this case, “invisible” actually means a gel that hardens according to increased temperatures. Clinical trials on the invisible condom have been carried out by Montreal’s Laval University, in conjunction with the Canadian Institutes of Health Research and the Centre Hospitalier de l’Universite
  Laval.

I get the occasional telemarketing call on my show, and Randall had trouble accepting his sexiness:

Sexy Randall Calls

Omar from The Mars Volta came by to talk about the bands’ show in Calgary and the new album. Much of the album was inspired by their experiences with a Ouija board the band called Soothsayer. We started there:

Interview Audio

Cake played a sold-out show at Mac Hall this week. Before the show John McCrea (vocalist/songwriter/etc) and Vince DiFiore (trumpet/keyboards/etc) stopped by the X92.9 Studios for a chat. Here’s the audio:

Cake Part 1

Cake Part 2