Lynch is growing a sad excuse for a ’stache, so I thought I’d repost the moustache rules:

These are simple rules, with very few exceptions. The mullet hair cut is never cool, not even in an ironic way. The only exception is for hockey players, like Ryan Smyth of the Oil, who have had it for years. Like mandatory helmets, he’s grandfathered in this case. As for moustaches, if you’re under 40 years of age, you shouldn’t have one. They are ridiculous. Exceptions: Cops, gay guys, and guys in bands with super-ironic handlebar or fu manchu styles. I don’t know why cops often have moustaches, but you can’t fight tradition. The moustache seems to play a part in gay culture, and that’s cool too. The worst moustaches are those guys with young or babyfaces who grow a moustache cause they think it makes them look more mature. No. It makes you look more ridiculous.