Jun 12
…to think of someone else when you’re making sweet love to your significant other? I was in a long-term relationship with a girl who had a large sexual appetite…bigger than mine even! Sometimes I’d think of other women while we were in the midst of the fun. Never told her of course. I took some calls, and welcome your comments here.
I added a poll over there –>
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June 12th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
I hear that’s a normal thing for dudes to do, wish that never reached my ears! That’s a piece of information I could have done without.
It’s pretty weak,in my opinion. I’m not thinking of Becks or Brad Pitt, why the hell are you thinking of other ladies? It’s almost a slap in the face. I actually think this was brought up on The Show, Candice would back me up!
Damn the Y Chromosome !!!!!
June 13th, 2008 at 8:05 am
I agree with femme. Here the woman is working her shit just to please herself half the time because orgasms don’t happen frequently, and the guy is thinking of someone else? That sucks. Now I don’t feel so bad when I fake it!
June 13th, 2008 at 8:32 am
Well i’m a chick…and I do it, so it’s not a practice reserved to just men. I think about other chicks, because to me that’s hot, and a fantasy, and a secure, healthy sex life means you allow each other the freedom to explore your fantasies, even if it’s only in the mind. If my BF is thinking of other girls does that mean he’s gonna go out and nail them? come on, that’s unreasonable, that’s not what makes anyone stray, what makes people stray is not being able to be themselves in their relationship, being stifled sexually or otherwise, maybe it is a typical “guy thing” but i dont wanna be part of the “typical girl” thing and get all insecure and controlling, IT’S A FANTASY…nothing is less sexy than insecurity.
June 13th, 2008 at 9:00 am
As your fellow woman, FemmeFatale, I disagree. It’s completely healthy to fantasize about other people while doing it with your regular. In my opinion, it’s only natural to have other desires after a few years. Humans, after all, have always had difficulty with monogamy. If thinking of other people/watching porn/whatever keeps your honey or you from cheating, then what’s the problem? It’s harmless. But I don’t think they should tell you about it and it shouldn’t happen ALL the time. If you can’t have sex with your partner without thinking of someone else, then something is wrong with your relationship. But, fantasizing now and again? That’s A-OK in my books.
June 13th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Well…..I’ll admit that I have in the past…
But since I met my fiance things have changed…I wouldnt dare, and to be honest I dont need to since Ive now found what I wanted in a guy!
June 13th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
I try to keep things simple and think of it this way:
Sometimes sex is about you and the person you’re with. You’re in it, into it and need nothing else but it.
Sometimes, sex is about frustration. You need the release, but it has nothing to do with the other person. You’re there, you’re into it, but maybe you need a little more to get the job done.
Sometimes, sex is about boredom. Like Sinead O’Connor said: “(you’re) still making love, dutifully sincere”. And that can be the worst kind.
Overall, what happens in your mind while your with me is your business. I would hope that most of the time the sex is good enough that we fall into the first category. I expect that sometimes we will fall into the second category. I dread if we ever fall to far into the third. If there is a healthy balance there, I say go ahead think of who or what you want. We don’t need to talk too much about it unless that becomes the overriding thing, the only thing that can allow you to get with me.
It’s sex people. It’s supposed to be about imagination and stimulation. The added things that make it great, no BETTER, than just mere copulation are the mental things, the connective things, the RELATIONSHIP things. And all those things have layers. We shouldn’t be punished for having weak and wandering human minds…as long as its all in balance.
June 13th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I wouldn’t take offense to my girlfriend thinking of someone else. But we’ve had conversations about this and it didn’t offend either of us because we have a really open relationship. If I think about it, it doesn’t mean I’m going to run out and tap the next lady I see. Seriously, it might be a faux pas back in the 60s, since you had to be really devoted and etc. But now, society has relaxed and realized that you don’t have to conform to something like that.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Sam, I don’t understand your comment, ok yeah, I have to work harder to get off than my BF does, so he MUST refrain from doing anything that might allow him to enjoy it more than me? and if he DOES happen to enjoy it more than he deserves to have me fake it? WTF?
I happen to find enjoyment in my BF’s pleasure, and there are nights where I do not cum, and that’s just fine by me because HE enjoyed it, there are nights where I blow him and roll over and go to sleep…because his pleasure matters to me, I don’t mind GIVING.
I don’t keep score, but the pay off happens when he rubs my back until i fall asleep, or goes down on me for 45 minutes without bitching about it or making me feel pressured to cum….sorry babe, just my opinion, but I don’t identify with you at all.
June 14th, 2008 at 12:13 am
If it works for you guys as a couple, great. If both of you tend to have wondering minds, cool.
I’m in the zone. I’m focused. All I’m thinking about is him, and enjoying myself. I never ever have thought of anyone else, I want to think about him.
What’s the point of f***ing you, if you’re thinking of another girl? Jesus christ, go f*** her then. I’d prefer that over you thinking about another girl every time.
Sorry, just an opinion. Do it if you can’t help yourself, whatever. Don’t f***ing tell me about it, ever.
June 17th, 2008 at 10:21 am
What is wrong with me Josh? I used to think about other chicks all the time during. Now I’m married and love my wife and can’t think of anyone else! And not even when I’m cranking it!!! Am I normal?
Josh says: sounds pretty healthy to me.