Aug 15
HOW NOT TO BE A SUNGLASSES DOUCHE:
- No sunglasses indoors. Take them off. Only exception here is if you’re in a sunroom, or a house made entirely of glass.
- No sunglasses at night. Corey Hart is a douche, and you are too if you wear your sunglasses after sunset.
- No sunglasses at bars, clubs or concerts. This is combining the “indoors” and “at night” rules for double-douchiness. You might think people will look at you and think, “how mysterious” or “that guy is cool.” Truthfully, people will be looking at you thinking “how douchey” or “that guy is re-goddamned-diculous!”
- Men should not wear oversize sunglasses. (Women shouldn’t either, but that’s a bigger fight)
- Men should not wear sunglasses with highly visible designer names or symbols. (ie. D&G, Chanel) It’s just lame and douchey.
- Men should also avoid the lightly tinted J-Lo style glasses. Do I need to explain?
These are just a few tips to help you avoid being douchey. If you see a friend who needs to be told - tell them. It’s also perfectly acceptable to walk by someone wearing sunglasses indoors and saying loudly and sarcastically while shielding your eyes: “owww, my eyes! It’s so bright in here, I wish I had my sunglasses!”
August 15th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
You had me at ’sunglasses douche’ and lost me at Corey Hart….the man is iconic, your lying if you didn’t sing that song a little bit when you wrote this blog.
Josh says: at the time Corey was super-cool, but through the over-sized rose-coloured designer glasses of time, he comes out douchey.
August 20th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
speaking of douchebags you should check out this group on facebook: People Against The Unethical Treatment of Music By Cover Bands
Josh says: I’ll have to check it out. I always find it funny when there are cover bands of terrible bands like Nickleback and Creed.
September 17th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I was at the bar this weekend and witnessed a douche wearing his sunglasses, except it was too dark to actually have them on, so he had them on his ears but hanging underneath his chin (he couldn’t even bother to take them off or even rest them on top of his head)… Clearly he has not read the rules… it was tragic…