I was talking to a girl last night, and she told me she was headed out to a pub with a guy. She said it wasn’t a date, and that she was single. Now here’s where it gets interesting. The guy had sent her a dozen red roses at work that day, and she sleeps with him regularly. Why? Well, apparently he does quite well for himself, buys lots of stuff for her and treats her well. I’m guessing he thinks they are in a relationship. She’s early twenties, he’s mid thirties. Basically she’s sleeping with this guy for the monetary perks. Is she a prostitute/escort? Does it matter if the guy doesn’t know her side of things?

I’ve put a poll over to the right —> 

Here’s some hints on how to tell from Men’s Health:

• She Suggests Thai for Dinner: Beware the “I-don’t-know, what-do-you-want-to-do?” camp of passive babes. A woman who knows and says what she wants, even when answering a mundane question, is more likely to be assertive in bed. Good lovers take responsibility for their pleasure. They remove a lot of the guesswork.
• She Eats It Up: Take note of how she handles her food. Watch how she uses her fork. Does she enjoy things? Is she sensuous? Is she poky and grabby? If someone eats slowly, it’s likely that they like to make love for a long time.
• She Screams . . . for Coffee Ice Cream: You may find the perfect lover by comparing tastes in ice cream. Alan Hirsch, M.D., a neurologist and director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago conducted a study of 720 people, ages 24 to 59, in which he correlated personality tests, their favorite ice-cream flavors, their partners’ favorite ice creams, and relationship status. Coffee-ice-cream lovers — found to be dramatic, seductive, flirtatious — are most romantically compatible with strawberry fans. Vanilla gals (emotionally expressive and fond of PDA) melt best with rocky-road guys. And mint-chocolate-chip fans are meant for each other.
• She Talks Like You: There’s a scene in Broadcast News in which William Hurt tells Holly Hunter that listening to her talk in his earpiece while he was on the air was “like great sex!” See if you get a similar buzz from your potential bedmate. The first thing to look for is mirroring of verbal behavior and pace. That is, if her pace and her nonverbal behavior match yours, her sexual behavior, which is also nonverbal, will also likely match. If one person seems really slow moving and the other person seems fidgety, they’re going to have different sexual paces.
• She Knows Who Sid Vicious Is: Young women often aren’t relaxed enough to have an orgasm. Older women know what they like and will tell you. They realize that if they have frequent orgasms, it’s better for the man in the long run. At menopause, levels of estrogen recede, unmasking the power of testosterone. This allows women to be more assertive and demanding, and many of them become more interested in sex.
• She Gives Good Lip: The way you kiss says a lot about how you make love. It’s not just using the lips; it’s using the entire body. If she uses her hands on you and presses her breasts into you and moans and groans, she’s going to be a great lover. The best female lovers also create sexual anticipation. They start with baby kisses, and then maybe lick your top lip and suck your bottom lip, and as they’re doing that, they play with your hair, or put your hands on them. It’s sort of like a dance.
• She’s a Good Dancer: There is a certain amount of dance to copulation. And dancing is energetic, which suggests someone who’s in good shape.

THE LANGUAGE OF BREAKING UP (Glamour)

• Booty Haul: The act of retrieving your stuff from your partner’s apartment a few days before dumping him/her; because you know it will make you look petty to ask for it after breaking his/her hear.
• Breakover: A post-breakup makeover. Join a gym. Get a haircut or a hot new wardrobe. It’s revenge that benefits you, rather than directly harming your ex, bodily or otherwise.
• Bunny Boiler: A clingy, overbearing, vindictive, possessive, obsessive, unhinged ex, named for Glenn Close’s Fatal Attraction character, who cooks her ex-lover’s daughter’s pet rabbit.
• Command-Z: As in “Undo! Undo!” All the impulsive stuff that you say in the heat of a breakup and immediately wish you could take back.
• Endship: The imaginary friendship that is insincerely wished for — as in, “I really hope we can still be friends” — by the dumper. However, two and a half seconds after they’ve left you in a puddle on the floor, they start erasing your digits from their phone.
• Groundhog Dump: When ending a relationship is dragged out over days or weeks, forcing you to relive the breakup again and again.
• Leg-clinger: A dumpee who cries, begs and pleads with you to reconsider and take them back. Be sympathetic — we’ve all been there.

This afternoon between 4-5 we’re going to have a sexual health advocate come on the show and let us pick her brain. If you need some advice, feel free to leave your questions here. It’s anonymous, if you choose.

Best advice I can give is “don’t dip your pen in the company ink” or more bluntly, “don’t sh!t where you eat!” If you have to have a workplace thing, here are some Dos and Don’ts from CareerRamblings.com:

TOP TEN TURNOFFs FOR WOMEN: (Yahoo!)

• Showing off: Maybe he owns a yacht off the coast of France. Maybe he has a timeshare in the
  Hamptons. Maybe his annual bonus is bigger than most guys’ salaries. That’s all well and good, but does it really need to be divulged on the first date?
• Messy: A-list celebrities can pull off the unkempt look. First-daters need to pay attention to shaving, clothing and bad breath. If the guy can’t even put in the effort for a first impression, it doesn’t bode well down the road.
• Being rude: “Where’s our drinks, lady?” If a guy treats the service staff with a lack of respect, a great gal will likely assume he’ll do the same to her someday. The last thing anyone wants is to be talked down to or disrespected.
• He’s cheap: There will always be debate about who should pay on a first date. Some guys are traditionalists and want to foot the bill; others expect a 50-50 monetary split. In most cases, offering to pay is the way to go. Let her pick up the tab on a future date.
• Still-married: Marriage, separation and divorce are pretty cut-and-dry terms. If a guy says he’s separated when he really means he’s cheating on his wife, it’s going to cause trouble. Be honest from the get-go and let the dating chips fall where they may.
• Touchy-feely: Guys need to read the signals before assuming hand holding, massaging and other touchy-feely activities have the green light. Jumping too quickly to any form of intimacy can make any guy seem too aggressive.
• Stereotyping: “Oh, you’re one of those types of women.” Jumping to conclusions about a date from the way she answers one or two questions is a definite mistake. Let the date unfold before making assumptions about someone you just met.
• Distracted: His cell phone is ringing constantly, he’s popping away from the table every 10 minutes, and he keeps interrupting the conversation flow. First dates require focused attention — that means putting the phone on vibrate, making eye contact and being present.
• All-Business: Some guys are great salesmen or outstanding negotiators. But there’s a time and place for business and a time and place for leisure. Guys who treat first dates like business transactions will never close the deal.
• Nervous: He can’t sit still, he’s banging his fork on the table, and he won’t make eye contact for more than three seconds. Nervous antics are a real turnoff and make a great gal think a guy has something to hide. Work out the nervous kinks before the date starts.

10 WORST PICK UP LINES (AskMen.com)

• “Hey, I was just thinking of you! Okay, I’m all cleaned up now though.”: This line is fairly crude and implies that you have the stamina of a 12-year-old, so it’ll only tempt her to leave the room rather than leave with you .
• “How would you like your eggs for breakfast: scrambled, boiled or fertilized?”: This one may be funny, but it’s also a tad presumptuous. Women generally dislike sexual references, as well as men who assume they can conquer any women they meet. To add insult to injury, it alludes to pregnancy; not a smart move.
• “What do you say we go back to my place and do some math? Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply!”: She may like the fact that you have a solid grasp of mathematics, but she will also assume you’re the pocket protector-wearing type. And thanks to the pickup line’s length, she will be history by the time you carry over the one.
• “You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everybody we did it anyway.”: This one is provocative and funny, but chances are it might garner you a slap across the face. On the other hand, she might counter with, “you’d better tell them I was good,” but don’t count on it.
• “Hey babe, do you know that my bedroom is soundproof?”: This one seems good at first, but it connotes that you will get action that night. Again, pretty presumptuous. On a scarier note, it also implies that if you do get her to your place, she could scream for help and no one would hear… pass.
• “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.”: Okay, so you know what Braille is… good for you. You may need it after she gouges your eyes out for insinuating that you could fondle her breasts without consequence. Generally speaking, lines that could be used at porn conventions are of no use in mainstream settings.
• “I just want to tell you that you have a price to pay for being this cute, and I’m here to collect… your phone number, that is.”: It’s fairly witty, but drags on for too long. And she’ll expect some celebrity to burst onto the scene and pitch you a collect-call phone program.
• “Did you know women are like parking spots? All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. Which are you?”: Mr. Sensitive, “come on down!” Comparing women to cement on which cars are parked will not get you far, while implying that a woman is handicapped if she’s single is going to put you in the ER.
• “Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer the cash instead?”: As a general rule, implying that she is a hooker will not work. Leave that for the streetwalker get-togethers and offer her a drink instead.
• “If you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?”: Are you asking her whether or not she’s a virgin? Why not ask her whether it’s that time of the month while you’re it? Leave the references to her box and your tools out of the dialogue, if you want to leave the bar in one piece.

Eight “Weird” Things Guys Do That Are Normal (Glamour)

• Ordering a salad for dinner: 19% of men say they’re currently trying to lose weight.
• Putting more time into friendships than women do: Men spend 10 hours a week with friends, compare to 7.5 for women.
• Not getting off: 25% of men don’t always orgasm with their partners.
• Faking it when they can’t get there: Yes, women pretend to orgasm more often, but 11% of men say they’ve done it too.
• Talking on the phone a lot: Men clock an average of 546 cell phone minutes a month, which is 76 more than women use.
• Never outgrowing video games: 35% of guys ages 25-34 play them for about 8 hours a week.
• Crying: Research shows that a typical man shed tears about 17 times a year.
• Liking the mall: 51% of men say that they enjoy shopping.

I’d heard about services like this in the past, but usually in other cities. Well, now there’s a local number you can use at your discretion. I’m guessing it’s mostly ladies who have to deal with persistent guys.

I’m not sure I’m totally agree with using it as the first option. It’s more if the guy is super-persistent or a giant douchebag. In fact, if it’s a giant douchebag, it would be fun to use it right off the bat. For examples of douchebags check out Hot Chicks With Douchebags. Meantime, here’s the recording one hears when dialing 775-9982:

rejection-hotline.mp3

BODY BLUNDERS THAT WOMEN FIND MOST OFFENSIVE (AskMen.com)

• Man boobs: This is the area she most looks at when she sees you naked. It is also probably one of her favorite places to rest her head, nibble nipples and caress lovingly. A man’s chest is a treasured place for women, so having a posh pair of man boobs covered in carpet is not a turn-on — especially if your boobs are bigger than hers.
• Underdeveloped shoulders/arms: If you’re a bit puny or saggy, it can impact how manly you appear. If your shoulders and arms are lacking in definition or shape, she may look at you and wish you looked a bit stronger — a bit more like you could save her if armed bandits came to kidnap her.
• Hairy back: Beautiful, smooth backs are definite lady-pleasers — a nice back will get you places a sparkling personality and a full head of hair won’t. To all you men out there who have hairy backs, it’s not your fault that you have hairy genes, but truth be told, you would probably be getting more attention without the hair.
• Beer belly: Your stomach is basically the whole front of you, and this is what she predominantly sees when she looks at you. If you have a pot belly, get rid of it. Nobody likes a saggy, protruding stomach, and since this is where men tend to put on weight first (especially if you enjoy beer regularly), it is the main source of the excess weight. You don’t need abs of steel, but you do need to be tucked in.
• Gross teeth: Bad teeth will lose you more sex than you’ll ever know. Our smiles are our gifts to the world, and how we show pleasure. If your way of showing pleasure is to bare your stained, broken/missing/buck fangs to the world, perhaps you’re in need of some dental work. Bad teeth look like they smell, and you don’t want to kiss something that looks like it smells.