Sunglasses Rules

Cool, Douche, Edumacation, Funny Add comments


  • No sunglasses indoors. Take them off. Only exception here is if you’re in a sunroom, or a house made entirely of glass.
  • No sunglasses at night. Corey Hart is a douche, and you are too if you wear your sunglasses after sunset.
  • No sunglasses at bars, clubs or concerts. This is combining the “indoors” and “at night” rules for double-douchiness. You might think people will look at you and think, “how mysterious” or “that guy is cool.” Truthfully, people will be looking at you thinking “how douchey” or “that guy is re-goddamned-diculous!”
  • Men should not wear oversize sunglasses. (Women shouldn’t either, but that’s a bigger fight)
  • Men should not wear sunglasses with highly visible designer names or symbols. (ie. D&G, Chanel) It’s just lame and douchey.
  • Men should also avoid the lightly tinted J-Lo style glasses. Do I need to explain?

These are just a few tips to help you avoid being douchey. If you see a friend who needs to be told - tell them. It’s also perfectly acceptable to walk by someone wearing sunglasses indoors and saying loudly and sarcastically while shielding your eyes: “owww, my eyes! It’s so bright in here, I wish I had my sunglasses!”

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10 Responses to “Sunglasses Rules”

  1. Danny Says:

    Ahahaha, love the sunglasses rules. Totally true!!! Holy shit, I want to hit those guys…. AND, if they are wearing sunglasses with a name-brand showing, they HAVE to be gay. Otherwise, they need to be double-smacked. Haha.

  2. Alfred WIllington Says:

    I’m totally not gay.

  3. Sunglasses Guy Says:

    I think the strongest rule is definitely about wearing them indoors. People get away with most of it based on “fashion” though. What can you do?

  4. Lystra M Says:

    Don’t masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no.

  5. popped collar Says:

    Good call, my friend… Good call.

  6. popped collar Says:

  7. Shadowgirl Lauren Says:

    How about just allowing people to do what they want? Once we start with rules for sunglasses, do we move into rules for regular glasses? Bright blue frames are not cool, but maybe there’s a reason for having them. A message or an ideal. Okay, some people are douchy for wearing sunglasses at odd times, but hitting these people is never an answer. Everyone has a right to expression, even if that expression seems wrong.
    Snicker to yourself and move along. Can’t do much more.

  8. Lystra M Says:

    No one “has a right to expression” if they are expressing douche. And if they are allowed to express their douchey-ness, then I am allowed to express my violent anger and hit them…

    And if people are allowed to just do what they want, (as you seem to believe is a good thing) then I have every right to hit douchebags that are wearing ridiculous sunglasses.

    How about you stop wearing your over-sized sunglasses to bars and at night and this problem will be solved.

  9. JT Says:

    Ohhh Shadowgirl lives in a world of lollypops and gumdrops and rainbows! where evreyone is free to express their douchey sunglass wearin, over-tanned, bleached toothed, popped collared, frosted tipped selves, how nice! NO douchebaggery should be fought using any and all mediums possible. Good blog sir.

    Josh says: Thanks!

  10. SteveWeizer Says:

    So true, too many people wear sunglasses indoors, is it some gay fashion statement? or do they think its cool?
    There also has to be another rule about the douches who wear them backwards, like they think they have eyes in the back of their heads or something, i wanna break their stupid glasses when i see that, so lame.

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