Well, he/she called again. It gets weirder and weirder. Here’s the call:

Charly/Stalker February 5th

If you can’t go two hours without checking your text messages, or seeing who called you, or worst of all, answering your phone - watching movies in the theatre just isn’t for you. Don’t go. I think theatres should be allowed to use cell-blocking technology to discourage the douche.

HOW NOT TO BE A DOUCHEBAG AT THE MOVIES:

• No Cell Phones: Turn the ringer off. Not vibrate. Off. If it’s on vibrate it’ll only tempt you to check it if there’s a call or message. Do not answer incoming calls, or (I feel like I’m stating the obvious here) make outgoing calls. Do not open your phone to see if anyone called or to read and write text messages. This is a big one, as people seem to assume it’s just the actual talking and ringing that’s distracting. That giant glowing LCD screen in the midst of the darkened theatre takes my attention from the movie screen. Again…if you can’t go two hours without touching your cell phone, you shouldn’t go to movies. And you should seek professional help.
• No Talking: Talk all you want before the movie and during the inevitable ads that precede the it. During the trailers, it’s polite to leave the talk for between the trailers, where it’s acceptable to say stuff like “that looks awesome” or “that looks suck-tastic.” Once the lights go down and the “feature presentation” bumper ends, it’s time to shut it! Don’t be tempted to talk with your companion about what’s on screen. If you’re on a first date and trying to impress her with your witty comments, trust me, you’re not funnier than the movie. Don’t state the obvious: “oh crap, she’s dead.” Don’t make out-loud predictions: “He’s gonna get caught!” Just save the talk ’til the movie is over and the credits are rolling.
• Remain Seated: You know the movie is gonna be 2 hours. Plan ahead. Take a whiz before it starts. You getting up and walking in front of people during the movie is annoying and distracting. It also means that when you return to your seat, the same thing happens again, plus you might be tempted to have a conversation about what you missed…which makes it double-douchey.

What as a regular non-douchey moviegoer can you do to keep the douche at bay? If your friend breaks one of the rules, you must be quick to remind them about the rules. If a stranger is chatting, a shush is a good start, an evil stare is the next step, and a “will you shut the f*ck up!?!” is a fine last resort. As for cellphone users the same tactic can be effective. As for texting and the glowing screens, I’ve found throwing pennies at the hands and /or device of the user can be effective. Some brands of candy will work too. For now the balcony is closed.

Yesterday, Dallas Green a.k.a City and Colour called to talk about his new album, Bring Me Your Love. We talked a little bit about Alexisonfire as well. Here’s audio of the interview:

City and Colour Segment #1

City and Colour Segment #2

No, this post isn’t about naming penises…we’ll save that for another day. We talked on-air about a British poll that asked women what guy names they associated with larger penises, and also smaller penises. The top ten male names they associate with large weiners:

#10 Dan, #9 Richard, #8 Andy, #7 Chris, #6 Robert, #5 Mark, #4 James, #3 Steve, #2 Paul, and the number one name (British!) women mentally associate with larger pant-snakes?

Dave. (what about the statue of David? Pictured here.)

OK, now the humiliating part. Remind me not to visit Britain anytime soon. Top ten male names they mentally attach to smaller penii:

#10 Nick, #9 Dennis, #8 Barry, #7 (cough!) Josh, #6 Jeremy, #5 Keith, #4 Frank, #3 Nigel (it’s a Brit thing), #2 Brian, and the number one mens name women match to a tiny weiner?

Ray.  Sorry Ray. 

I love the idea of fooling the general public. Illusions, pranks, hidden camera stuff, social psychology. Anything that surreptitiously messes with peoples’ heads. Even movies and theatre stuff. In any case, there’s a collective called Improv Everywhere that stage live, large scale events in major cities. They had a brilliant one recently at New York’s Grand Central Station. A similar “freeze” is planned for The Eaton Centre in Toronto. Would love to see something in Calgary. Here’s the Frozen Grand Central:

It’s a new year, with new listeners stumbling across our still-new radio station, Calgary’s New Rock Alternative X92.9 FM. We just celebrated our first anniversary on January 1. You may have been there since the beginning, or perhaps are just now discovering us. If we haven’t been properly introduced yet, I host the afternoon show. It runs weekdays from 2-7PM, which includes the 6 O’Clock Rock Report, an hour of music news, interviews and some damn good music. I love that my show has become a two-way connection and always enjoy interacting with you. You can get in touch a whole bunch of ways:

Phone during the show: 403-238-X929 (9929)

Leave a voicemail: 403-670-0210 x 1851

E-mail: josh@x929.ca

Social Networking: Facebook, MySpace (let’s be friends!)

Feel free to take a browse through the past years’ worth of blog archives, and make sure you bookmark my blog!!!

Friday marked another call from a “guy” who sounds suspiciously like my biggest fan. Also suspicious is the fact that the calls from Charly started the week after my biggest fan said she wasn’t going to call anymore. Hockey and/or cocoa? No thank-you. The call:

 Stalker/Charly Feb 1