Got this email today from someone whose e-mail name is “nickthehottie@_____.” I’ve left out the domian, cause I’m an ass, but not a huge ass. You’d think this Nick (if it’s a guy that’s really pathetic, if it’s a girl, ummm, still pathetic) would be too busy primping and working on being a “hottie” to find time to write. In any case here’s the e-mail under the subject?line?”PLAY MUSIC”:

Reply-To:nickthehottie@

LESS CHAT ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND CRAP AND MORE GOD DAMN MUSIC, IT ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF US WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THAT CRAP!!!!!!!!

My reply:

Hi Nick,

Your radio has buttons on it, right? Feel free to use them. Have an excellent Easter weekend.

Cheers,

Josh

It drives me crazy to see people throwing garbage on the street, especially when there are garbage cans every half block or so downtown. Take some pride in where you live! If I’m walking behind someone and they throw a piece of trash on the ground, I’ll usually say something like “excuse me, I think you dropped something” which sort of lets them off the hook, but makes them pick it up. Cigarettes are a whole other matter. For some reason there’s a bit of a double-standard for smokers, who are perfectly at ease tossing their garbage (butts) wherever they please. I sort of understand a little bit on the streets, as there’s no real disposal provided, and nobody wants to start a garbage fire. But as far as I know, most vehicles still come with ashtrays, for those too stubborn to quit. Yet, every day you see people throwing their butts out the window. Take responsibility for your bad habit! If you have to smoke - don’t throw the butt out the window. It’s garbage. And even more importantly, if you’re considerate enough to use the ashtray, dumping the entire contents of the ashtray on the street is total douchebaggery.

I still am amused on a daily basis by the website Hot Chicks with Douchebags, which is described as “pictures of hot chicks with total and complete douchebags. With commentary.” You’ve gotta check it out. Lots of HCwDBs in Calgary bars. I think the one at the link might be a Calgary douchebag.

My friends and I would always notice that hot girls seemed to consistently end up with douchey guys. Take a walk around Calgary, especially in some of the 17th Avenue bars, and you might see it live in person. Yesterday, one of those friends e-mailed me a fantastic website chronicling the phenomenon. Ladies and gentlemen…

Hot Chicks with Douchebags

I talked briefly today about how I’m kind of annoyed that not only does the Globe and Mail have the banal Leah McLaren, they also have former National Post banal female writer Rebecca Eckler doing a “Mommy Blog.”?I then recieved this message on MySpace:

Dude I like you I do I like your taste in music and I do think your funny….But I have to say your getting annoying. Your talking about annoying chicks in the paper…well don’t you think some of the things out of your mouth are unnessary? Ie Douche. I just don’t want to to go the route of other DJ’s in this city. And super cheesy pic of you and a chick on your blog…lame! Don’t be offended, I just don’t want to have to switch stations…..:( I love x

The interesting thing is that the MySpace profile has no friends (except Tom of course) and very little detail or picture and is under the name “Ladybug.” I’m guessing someone created a MySpace profile, just so they could send this anonymous note. I think Rebecca Eckler calls Calgary home, so is this a friend, or just a rabid supporter. Although, I should mention, I guess those columns aren’t really geared towards me - much like my show isn’t really geared towards people who read those columns. So I won’t read them, and she doesn’t have to listen. Deal!

Here’s some things you might not know about U2’s Bono:

?????????? In the year since it was founded, his Red campaign (licensed to Gap, Motorola, Apple etc) has raised $18 million ? but companies have spent $100 million to market it.

?????????? Bono doesn’t invest his own money in Red.???

?????????? Apple sells a Special Edition U2 iPod. Its profits are not donated to Red.??

?????????? U2 made $389m from the recent Vertigo tour. Its revenue was then funnelled through companies mostly registered in Ireland and structured to minimize taxes.???

??????????? U2 moved its music publishing company to the Netherlands from Ireland in June 2006, six months before Ireland ended a tax exemption on musicians’ royalty income.???

??????????? Richard Murphy, adviser to lobbying group the Tax Justice Network, says “This is somebody ?who’s exceptionally rich taking the opportunity to shift his tax burden to somebody else, but then asking governments around the world to spend that tax take in the way that he would like.”

It’s spring and the blossoming has begun. Turd blossoms. If you own a dog, pick up after it, otherwise you shouldn’t have a dog. Owning a dog comes with responsibilities, and if you can’t pick up its poop, then?you’re not responsible enough. If your dog poops under a bush, where nobody is likely to ever tread, you get away with a warning. If your dog poos?on grass where people can walk, and you don’t stoop ‘n scoop, you should be given a large fine and be sentenced to a few hours of community service picking up dog turds in parks. If your dog takes?a dump on a cement sidewalk or pathway that was designed for people?to walk on, you should have your dog taken away, and not be allowed to own a pet for 3 years. You should also be tied down while a?Great Dane unloads on your chest. Currently it is against the law in Calgary to not pick up after your pet (except on your own property), but the bylaw isn’t particularly well enforced.

I love dogs, but get annoyed at irresponsible owners.

P.S. the Calgary Humane Society has plenty of great pets up for adoption. Another great searchable directory for adoptable pets is Petfinder.com

Got another funny hate e-mail today.

?Josh Sucks | joshisgay@brokeback.com | IP: 64.42.233.190

Man you really are a loser. The ?make out inside RV? plan didn?t work, the ?put the X sticker in the boobs? didn?t work either, and now you?re begging for other singles to join you on the hunt? Lame?.

If you stop putting your mom on the air then maybe people wouldn?t think you?re a pussy?. well a big maybe?

You are the most annoying and unfunny DJ in calgary. Oh and I noticed you stopped bitching about how bad calgarians are in driving? How?s that speeding ticket and the crashed car? lol

?Wouldn’t it be easier for you to turn the dial to another station, as every other DJ in Calgary is more entertaining and funny? Yet, you seem to have heard all sorts of stuff on my show. Just turn the dial man, don’t torture yourself. Find a station that’ll make Brokeback-style jokes…cause that is definitely Hi-larious! I’m not begging anyone…just trying to help out the singles, myself included. I have not stopped bitching about Calgary drivers. There are many terrible, over-cautious drivers in this city. There are also many left lane hogs. I got a speeding ticket, but so what? I also got into a bumper scratching collision, because of sheer ice. My opinion hasn’t changed.

Now please turn the station to one that will make funny poop and gay jokes, as I don’t want you listening anymore. I try to cater the show to smart people, so obviously the show just isn’t for you.

P.S. if you’re not?a teenage girl, you shouldn’t be using?”lol”

I?talked about how there are plenty of bars in Calgary that put the Leafs games on TV, which is good, but?none that I’ve been to actually put the sound on for the games. I said that I’d even been to a bar in Los Angeles where they had a room with the Leafs game and the sound on.

I also explained that the Leafs have been my team since birth,?BUT, that now that I live in Calgary my team is the Flames…unless they play the Leafs. That happens once every year or three. So basically I’m a new Flames fan. I’ve actually cheered on the Flmaes in the playoffs in the past few years before coming here. After this discussion, the following unsigned e-mail arrived in my inbox from a J369:

?SUBJECT: Wake up, this is not Toronto bud

I just got home, turned on the radio and some guy was going on and on
and on and on, whining about the Leafs. And ended up telling the bars in
town to turn on the Leafs games and turn on the sound. Wake up, this is
Calgary, where you live, work, enjoy low taxes, good wages, job
opportunities, and great standard of living. Support your home community and
everything that goes with it, include the sports teams, or go back to
the ex-centre of the universe. 92.9 is not on my radio any more, but CJAY
stays - they support Calgary And I will actively encourage everybody I
know to do the same.

I told him I don't want him listening to my show anymore.

These are simple rules, with very few exceptions. The mullet hair cut is never cool, not even in an ironic way. The only exception is for hockey players, like Ryan Smyth of the Oil, who have had it for years. Like mandatory helmets, he’s grandfathered in this case. As for moustaches, if you’re under 40 years of age, you shouldn’t have one. They are ridiculous. Exceptions: Cops, gay guys, and guys in bands with super-ironic handlebar or fu manchu styles. I don’t know why cops often have moustaches, but you can’t fight tradition. The moustache seems to play a part in gay culture, and that’s cool too. The worst moustaches are those guys with young or babyfaces who grow a moustache cause they think it makes them look more mature. No. It makes you look more ridiculous.